He Loves Me? He Love Me Not?
by SarahMichaels
Summary: Maria finds out she has cancer and hides the truth from Michael. Set after Heatwave.


Title: He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not?  
Author: Sarah Y.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Maria finds out she has cancer and she hides the truth from Michael. It's set a little after Heatwave in the first season.  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.  
  
  
  
Maria was stunned when the doctor told her she had cancer. Amy was off at some convention and Maria was there alone in the doctor's examining room. Maria was shocked by the news at first. Then it started to sink into to her that she might die and she started to cry. The first person she thought of was Michael. She wanted to be with him. She loved him and hoped he felt the same way. Maria dried her eyes and tried to pull herself together.  
  
******  
Maria finally arrived at Michael's door and knocked on it. A few seconds later he answered the door.  
  
"Hi, Michael can we talk?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess so. Come on in. There is actually something I wanted to say to you to."   
  
Michael was afraid she was going to say she loved him. He loved her too but he had never felt this way before and it terrified him.  
  
"Michael I don't know how to say this. I mean it's hard for me to say...um..."   
  
"Why don't you let me go first?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Maria I don't think we should see each other anymore. I mean I know where not technically dating but whatever we have should stop. I mean our time in the eraser room is nice and all, but I don't want to be involved anyone."  
  
Maria felt like she had been hit with a sledgehammer. First she finds out she might die and then she finds out Michael doesn't want anything to do with her. She forced herself to hold back her tears. She wasn't going to let Michael see how much he had hurt her.  
  
"It's alright Michael. I was actually coming to tell you the same thing. Now that it's settled I'll go." She walked quickly out of his apartment and ran to her car. She finally broke down in sobs. Her life couldn't possibly get any worse or so she thought.  
  
(4 weeks later at the Crashdown)  
  
"Maria you don't look so good. Why don't you take some time off. You need to rest," Liz suggested.  
  
"I think your right. The chemo's really making me sick all the time and I'm dizzy. Liz I just feel so bad."  
  
"Go ahead and go home I'll finish your shift."   
  
"Thanks Liz."  
  
Michael saw Maria leave. "Liz why is Maria taking off? She's only been here 10 minutes."  
  
"She's needed some time off. It's personal," Liz said sarcastically. Maria had told her about the whole conversation they had. She felt so bad for Maria knowing how much she loved Michael and how he just blew her off. Maria might never have another chance at love.  
  
After Michael shift he went to Maria's house and knocked on the door.  
  
"Michael what are you doing here?" Maria asked letting him in.  
  
"I just wanted to say that I'm willing to find some place else to work since it's to uncomfortable for you to be around me."  
  
"Michael you are so full of yourself! The world does not revolve around you."  
  
"Then why are you taking time off?"  
  
"Michael it's none of your business! You don't want to be with me so you have no right to ask me any questions." She started feeling sick to her stomach. Maria ran into the bathroom and started throwing up.   
  
"Are you okay Maria?" Michael asked standing by the bathroom door.  
  
"I'm fine. Just leave!"  
  
Michael considered arguing with her but he didn't see the point. He decided it was better if he just left.  
  
After Maria was sure he was gone she started to get ready for bed. She picked out her pajamas and took a nice long bath to relax. She was starting to feel better. Maria got out of the bathtub and started drying off. She put a towel around her and started blow-drying her hair. She went to comb it when she noticed a clump of hair on the comb. She looked in the mirror and saw that part of her hair had fallen out. She started to touch the rest of her head and when she did the rest of her hair fell out. The doctor had told her that this might happen but noting prepared her for the sight she saw. Maria was disgusted by how she looked. She slumped to the floor and cried.  
  
"Maria, What's a matter?" Amy had just come home and she decided to check on Maria. Amy walked in the room and she saw the hair on the floor. "Maria honey, it's o.k." She said grabbing her daughter into a hug.  
  
"Your still beautiful. And if you want to we can go shopping for a wig. No one will ever know."  
  
*********  
Two days later Maria returned to school. Maria took her mothers advice and bought a wig that matched her hair color and length hoping no one would notice the difference. She walked up to Liz's locker.  
  
"Liz. How does my wig look? Is it to noticeable?"  
  
"It'll be fine Maria. You look like you have a new hairstyle that's all." Liz hugged her friend.  
  
Maria made it through the morning without anyone noticing. She went to lunch and she was uneasy when the four aliens joined Liz, Alex, and her for lunch.  
  
"So Maria what's up with the new hairdo?" Leave it up to Michael to bring it up.  
  
"I just wanted a change."  
  
"Well it looks horrible!" Michael said.  
  
"I think it looks nice," Max said trying to make Maria feel better. He didn't understand why Michael had to be such a jerk to her when everyone knew he loved Maria. That is everyone except Maria and Michael himself.  
  
"I feel it's my duty to tell you your hair looks awful since no one else will tell you the truth," Michael smirked.  
  
Maria stood up and went running down the hallway.  
  
"What did I do? I was just insulting her like I always do." Michael said. The rest of the gang gave Michael a look that could kill.  
  
"I guess I better go find her," Michael said excusing himself.  
  
Maria went running and she found herself in the eraser room and locked herself in. She took the wig and threw it. "God how could I have been so stupid to think people wouldn't notice. I look horrible! She sat down and sobbed. Just then she heard the door click and someone walked in. "Who's there?"  
  
"It's Michael. I used my powers to open the door."  
  
"Michael, get out!" She tried to grab her wig and put it on but it was to late. "Please Michael don't look at me! Leave, Please!"  
  
He couldn't see her because it was so dark. He turned on the light switch. "Maria why don't you want me to look at..." He noticed her hair was gone.  
  
"Maria what's going on? What happened?"  
  
"Just leave Michael. Please don't look at me."  
  
"What happened to your hair?"  
  
"I left on some hair color too long and it made my hair fall out. Are you happy now? Leave!" Maria shouted.  
  
"I will, just let me help you up."  
  
"Go!"  
  
Michael went up to hold her. She resisted for a while but finally gave up.  
  
"Michael I never wanted you to see me this way. I'm so ugly!"  
  
He finally tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "Your not ugly Maria. It will grow back. It's no big deal." Michael knew he wasn't good with words but it was all he could think of to say.  
  
Michael suddenly felt uncomfortable being that close to Maria. She could feel his body stiffen. She crawled out of Michael's arms and stood up putting the wig back on.  
  
"I'm going to go home. Will you tell the others I didn't feel well?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
(1 week later Amy walked into the Crashdown to pick up an order to go.)  
  
"How's Maria doing?" Liz asked.  
  
"She's still week. I thought maybe I would take some food to her in the hospital. We've been trying to get her to eat something."  
  
"I'll drop by to see her after work. I'll go see how Michael's coming along with the order."  
  
"Thanks, Liz."  
  
A few minutes later Michael walked up to Amy to hand her the order.  
  
"Thanks Michael. Why don't you come visit Maria. I think she would like to see you. Maybe you could drop by the hospital after work or something."  
  
"Hospital. Why would I go there?" Michael asked.  
  
"You mean you don't know?"  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"Maria has cancer."  
  
Michael didn't know what to say. He just walked back into the kitchen and tried to catch his breath. *Why didn't Maria tell me?*  
  
  
Later at the hospital Maria hears her hospital door opening.  
  
"Hey mom could you get me some water? I'm really thirsty."  
  
Michael saw a glass in the corner and filled it up with water. Michael walked up and handed her the glass. He couldn't believe it was Maria. She had grown a little hair but not much. She had tubes coming out from her arms and nose. She was so much thinner and pale from the last time he saw her.  
  
"Thanks Mom..." It was then she realized it was Michael.  
  
"What are you doing here Michael?"   
  
"I'd thought I'd drop by. I didn't have anything better to do."  
  
"Well don't let me keep you. You can just leave."  
  
"Maria why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I was going to tell you that day I came to your apartment. The day you said you wanted nothing to do with me. All you wanted was a good time. I obviously can't show you a good time anymore. After that I didn't think it would matter to you."  
  
"Of course it does."  
  
"No it doesn't Michael. You don't have to pity me. Just leave me alone. You don't have to pretend to care. No one will hold it against you. You've made it clear I mean nothing to you." She could feel the tears falling down her face. "And if I die you don't even have to pretend to care."  
  
The words stung him like a knife. It finally hit him that Maria could die from this.   
"Maria you're not going to die."  
  
"You don't know that. The doctors don't even know."  
  
"Maria, I do care."  
  
"We'll you shouldn't. You wouldn't want to be around me anyway. I'm just so sick of being nauseous, having tubes sticking out of me, and the medicine. But most of all I'm just scared."  
  
"Scared of dying?" Michael asked.  
  
"No. I mean that's part of it. What I'm most scared of is dying and never knowing what it's like to have the one person I love more than anything in the world love me back."  
More tears started to roll down her cheek.  
  
Michael thought for a moment. Who does Maria love? Could it be me? After everything I've put her through. She deserves more. "Maria, Look at me."  
  
"No just leave Michael. I don't feel like fighting. I'm not strong enough anymore."  
  
"Maria I'll leave but I have to know who do you love?"  
  
"Michael, are you really that stupid? It's always been you. I know you will never love me so please just leave me alone. I can't take it anymore. Leave!"  
  
"If that's what you want Maria." Maria started sobbing as he walked out the door.  
  
***  
The next day Maria was laying in her hospital bed when a nurse walked in with a small stuffed animal. "We had a delivery for you" She handed Maria the gift. It was a green stuffed alien. Over the heart "An Alien Loves You" was written in small green letters. There was no card attached. Mom probably sent it. Maybe some strange new toy mom had made to sell.  
  
Maria picked up the phone and dialed her mom. "Hey mom."  
  
"Oh Hi Sweetie. How are you feeling?"  
  
"O.K. I guess. I just wanted to thank you for the gift."  
  
"Uh honey, I didn't send you anything."  
  
"O.K. The company just forgot to put a card on the gift."  
  
"Get some rest honey."  
  
"I will, Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Maria hung up the phone. If mom didn't send it then who? She read the message on the heart again. "An alien loves you." Wait a minute could it be from Michael? She wished it was true but after the other day she couldn't be sure. She thought for sure he hated her.  
  
  
A week passed and Michael hadn't been to visit her. Liz said he hadn't been in school but she didn't think anything about it. She thought about calling him but decided against it. Maria was doing much better and the doctors were sure she would pull though. She was finished with her Chemotherapy treatments and her hair was starting to grow back. Today she was finally leaving the hospital. Liz agreed to drive her home because her mom was away. Her mom hated to go but knew she needed the money for Maria's hospital stay. Maria was putting her shoes on when she heard a knock on the door.   
  
"Come on in Liz." Only it wasn't Liz who walked in the door. It was Michael.  
  
"Hey, What are you doing here?" Maria asked.  
  
"I'm here to take you home."  
  
"You don't have to. Liz is coming."  
  
"No I made a deal with her to take you home myself."  
  
"Uh... Michael did you send the stuffed alien?"  
  
"Of course. You haven't been seeing some other Alien on the side have you?"  
  
Maria smirked. "No. I just wanted to thank you and for you to know it's alright."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"I know you sent it because I freaked you out about me possibly dying. I'm fine now and I intend to live for a very long time. I was just scared. So I won't hold you to anything. It's all right. I can just take a cab home."  
  
"Maria why do you keep pushing me away?"  
  
"Me? Michael I'm just trying to give you what you want."  
  
"Maria what I want is you."  
  
Maria felt a tear fall down her face. For the first time in her live she was speechless. After a long pause she looked at him. "Michael do you really? I mean I know I'm not the easiest person to be with, I know I rag on you a lot but I really do love you and I can't take it if you toss me aside tomorrow and Michael..."  
  
Michael leaned over kissing her to shut her up. After a long sweet kiss Michael spoke. "Maria I didn't lie. I do love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. That day I said you didn't mean anything to me I said because I was scared. But when I found out you were sick and I might lose you forever it scared me."  
  
"Michael no matter what happens to me I will always be with you. I will always love you."  
  
"Ditto. Now enough with the sappiness let's get you home." He scooped Maria off her feet and held her in his arms. He started to walk out of the room into the hallway with her so they could leave.  
  
"You know Michael, my mom will be away for another week and I think I'm still a little week. Do you know of anyone that would be willing to stay with me? You know just in case I pass out or need a massage..."  
  
"Or help in the shower?" Michael added.  
  
Maria hit Michael in the arm.  
  
"Hey, Maria that hurts. I think my arm may need a massage."  
  
"Michael?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Shut up and kiss me."  
  
"Your wish is my command."  
  
The End  



End file.
